Dubai: Hollwyood actor Ethan Slater's ex-wife Dr Lilly Jay, a clinical psychologist specialising in women’s mental health, has opened up about her divorce, shedding light on the personal and professional challenges of navigating a public breakup.
Slater, who plays Boq in the highly anticipated Wicked movie adaptation, is now romantically linked to his co-star Ariana Grande.
In an essay published in The Cut on December 19, Dr. Jay compared the end of her marriage to an unforeseen catastrophe.
“No one gets married thinking they’ll get divorced, in the same way we don’t board a plane expecting to crash,” she wrote. “But I really never thought I would get divorced. Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity.”
Dr. Jay, who married Slater in 2018, highlighted the contrasting nature of their careers: her work as a therapist, requiring privacy, and his life as a performer, thriving in the public eye.
“I deeply miss the life of invisibility I created for myself,” she said, reflecting on the challenges of being thrust into the spotlight.
The couple moved to London with their two-month-old son while Slater was filming Wicked. Dr. Jay described being consumed by “the magic and mundanity of new motherhood,” unaware of the growing distance between her and her husband. Their marriage came to a public end in July 2023, shortly after news of Slater’s relationship with Grande broke. Days later, Slater filed for divorce.
Dr. Jay addressed the emotional toll of the situation, noting that while their partnership as a couple had changed, their shared dedication to parenting had not.
“Both of us fiercely love our son 100 percent of the time, regardless of how our parenting time is divided,” she emphasised.
However, she admitted that seeing promotions for Wicked brought back painful memories. “Days with my son are sunny. Days when I can’t escape the promotion of a movie associated with the saddest days of my life are darker.”
The essay also revealed Dr. Jay’s struggles with postpartum depression during her time in London and the impact of tabloid narratives on her personal and professional identity. She expressed gratitude to her patients while apologising for her reduced anonymity.
“I’m sorry I can’t be invisible anymore.”
Ending on a note of encouragement, Dr. Jay offered a message to others experiencing similar challenges.
“Some of what you loved most about your partner was actually your own goodness reflected back to you; it’s yours to keep and carry forward.”
Slater, who rose to prominence with a Tony-nominated performance in SpongeBob SquarePants: The Broadway Musical, has seen his career reach new heights with Wicked. Grande, who separated from her husband Dalton Gomez in 2023, has also addressed public scrutiny of her relationship with Slater.
