Forget stuffy traditions and predictable toasts. The ‘anti-bride’ trend on TikTok is shaking up the wedding scene, and it's as surprising as a jalapeño mocktail on your wedding day.
Picture this: Instead of a ceremony under a floral arch, your fiancé and you are soaring through the sky, exchanging vows mid-air - talk about taking the plunge! Reception? More like a food-truck fiesta, bursting with flavours and fun, not stuffy buffets and lukewarm beverages. Say goodbye to 500-guest extravaganzas and endless speeches, and hello to bonfires, karaoke, and your closest crew.
First dance? Ditch the slow sway and nail a choreographed hip-hop routine that expresses your fiery individuality. Yes, you read that right – this trend is all about throwing wedding expectations out the window and creating a ceremony that screams ‘you’.
It's about keeping what you love and ditching the rulebook. Or at least, that’s what TikTok has to say.
Who is the anti-bride?
In early January, TikTok user @knaakwell posted a video about her decision to skip the wedding ceremony. She cited anxiety and excessive expenses as the two main reasons. Her video garnered over half a million views, while many others provided reasons for avoiding traditional weddings.
In the video, she explains, “One of the biggest reason for me, is because I am a very anxious person. I simply cannot imagine standing up there on the altar, with everyone watching the most intimate moment of ours. That is the most uncomfortable, anxiety-provoking thought for me.” She also goes on to add that she doesn’t “want to deal with the stress of who’s invited and who is not invited” to the wedding.
Essentially, in summary: She doesn’t want the drama and the expenses. She would rather invest her energies in buying a house.
And now, the term ‘anti-wedding’ has almost 96 million views and the hashtag #antibride has over 45 million views. In another video, a woman in the UK decides to opt for a “fur coat”, and says she has no plans to do her makeup. Another user by the name of Sam Hwang has been sharing ‘anti-bride’ approach for a while now. As she emphatically says, there are no rules. This ‘movement’ allows the couples to do what they want.
As US-based wedding photographer Nikki Baker explained in a TikTok video, “The concept of an anti-bride is a more relaxed version of what most people would consider traditional weddings.”
That’s TikTok: Let’s see what UAE-based wedding planners have to say.
‘Putting a spin on tradition’
A wedding should be personal to you, as Hannah Matthews, owner of Dubai-based Couture Events Worldwide says. While she is uncertain about the ‘anti-bride’ trend taking any form in the UAE, she has observed that brides like to put a “spin” on tradition.
“We do see brides creating unique moments and choosing what works for them, but not in couture events as yet,” she says. Elaborating on what these unique moments might be, she says, “Recently, many skipped on the cake-cutting ceremonies. Instead of a five-tier wedding cake, some have opted for the flat ones. I wouldn’t call it the anti-bride, but instead adding their own twist to a special day. Some don’t walk down the aisle; they like to dance down the aisle.”
We do see brides creating unique moments and choosing what works for them. Many have skipped on the cake-cutting ceremonies. Some have danced down the aisle, instead of walking down the aisle...
As Matthews explains, these little twists are what work well for their own individuality. “The overall look of the wedding, like the speeches and ceremonies, first dances all remain, but they are just tweaking it to suit their own personalities.”
Maya Ferando, a Dubai-based wedding planner traces the the rise of the anti-bride trend back to the aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic. "This forced many couples to reconsider the scale and complexity of their weddings. Instead of facing further delays, they embraced the opportunity to exchange vows in smaller and more intimate settings," she says. More couples are avoiding "traditional" wedding norms and embracing the “anti-bride” trend for a personalised, intimate, and minimalist approach that reflects their unique personalities.
The rise of the “anti-bride” trend can be traced back to the aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic, which forced many couples to reconsider the scale and complexity of their weddings. Instead of facing further delays, they embraced the opportunity to exchange vows in smaller, more intimate settings...
A move to reclaim themselves?
On the other hand, May Fern, another Dubai-based wedding planner, sees that this idea could possibly be a shift in societal expectations. “I think it also depends on the cultural expectations. But it does sound empowering. If women choose to wear what they like for their wedding, rather than traditional attires, it does carry meaning. The wedding industry and societal exhaustion can really box you into a corner, and I’ve seen enough meltdowns over the years. So, I see people choosing this ‘anti-bride’ trend as a move to deconstruct old notions, and make it special for themselves, rather than others,” she says. “I see it as women fighting back and reclaiming themselves.”
As Yana Daryeva, a celebrity event and wedding planner, explains, "The “anti-bride” trend refers to a movement where women embrace unconventional approaches to weddings, steering away from traditional norms. It's about personal expression, rejecting stereotypes, and focusing on individuality over traditional wedding expectations," she says. As Daryeva adds, for women, it means having the freedom to celebrate their wedding in a way that resonates with their personal style, breaking away from societal norms and expectations, she adds. It's the freedom to redefine wedding norms, promoting equality and shared decision-making. "It fosters a celebration that reflects the couple’s unique identity and aspiration," she says.
‘A step taken to alleviate anxiety’
Wedding anxiety? It’s not just the cold feet; you break out in sweat on just seeing the guest list. The happily-ever-after can come at a high price.
As Claire Elise, a Canadian UAE-based wedding and event planner says, this latest TikTok trend appears to be rooted in anxiety. “Let’s be realistic. Weddings cause stress and meltdowns for everyone. You’re fighting with caterers, your own parents and future in-laws over venues and flower decorations. The expenses are astronomical. So, yes, generally to avoid all this hassle, many people have chosen to do things their own way. Assuming, they have the option. They would rather do just a registration, and celebrate with their friends and family at home. Now, it’s under the name of ‘anti-bride’ trend, because of TikTok, but it’s not a particularly novel scenario,” she says.
Essentially, it’s just about what causes less anxiety on your special day. “It’s their big day. It’s just about choosing what stresses them out less, and making it fun for everyone,” she says. This ‘trend’ is essentially a step taken to alleviate the deluge of anxiety on the day, itself.
Elise, who has been in the industry for over 20 years, has witnessed a range of different ceremonies, in various cultures. “I have seen people exchanging garlands at home, and later celebrating at a concert, with friends and family. People have held warm and cosy dinners at home, instead of grand receptions. I’ve seen brides ditch the white dress and opt for blue, because it was special for their love story,” she says.
‘Trends come and go’
Mark Hall, an American event planner based in Abu Dhabi expresses scepticism at the name of the anti-bride trend. “It’s basically people doing what they want to cut expenses for their own big day, right? I think people have been doing that in different ways for over years now, changing traditions that don’t mean much to them. They want to make it fun for others too. Right now, it’s become a trending keyword, only because of TikTok. The rage on TikTok will die down, but people will still continue to choose what to do at their own weddings,” he says.
