Despite being born into a family of poets, his ambition was to be a doctor. He took this decision when he was barely five. Today, at 62, Salman Akhtar is one of the most respected psychoanalysts. But the poetry bug did eventually bite him.
Psychoanalyst Salman Akhtar's curriculum vitae runs into so many pages, it might as well be a novella ...
He is a doctor, professor of psychiatry, author, poet and public speaker. He teaches at the Jefferson Medical College in Philadelphia, US.
He has published six volumes of poetry in Urdu and English and authored or edited more than 30 books on diverse topics in psychology, psychiatry and psychoanalysis. He has lectured at Harvard, Yale, Brown, Emory and other major American universities as well as at the United Nations.
His clinical practice attracts patients from all over the world including the Middle East.
Akhtar comes from a family of poets and writers from India. His father, Jan Nissar Akhtar, was a famous poet and Hindi film lyricist. His brother, Javed Akhtar, is a fantastically famous figure in India with a track record of scripting and writing lyrics for films that have become milestones in Hindi cinema.
And his mother, Safia, was a college professor whose Urdu letters to Akhtar's father have been published in a widely-read two-volume set, Harf-e-Aashna (Letters to a beloved) and Zer-e-Lab (Beneath the lips).
The growing-up years
Born on July 31, 1946 in Lucknow, in north India, Akhtar was the only one in the family who chose medicine over poetry (both have healing properties of different kinds but that's another story).
Says Akhtar, "I was certain I wanted to become a doctor when I was five. My mother wasn't keeping well and the decision was probably a result of wanting to help the ailing (when I grew up)."
His mother passed away a few years later. "After her death, I became absent-minded and was no longer an enthusiastic child."
Fortunately, he grew up in an atmosphere suffused with the energising properties of literature, poetry and a respect for language.
"Reading was a pastime in the family. Even my maternal grandmother, who was illiterate, kept herself abreast of the news by asking me to read it aloud!" he recalls.
When he finished school, he did what he had been waiting for since the age of five - enrol in a medical college. Eventually, he earned an MD in Psychiatry after which he moved to the US for further studies.
The culture shock!
"(When I moved to the America) I began to miss many aspects of India - its social customs, its festivals ... but over the years, I have managed to accommodate parts of American culture within me. On the other hand, I have 'Indianised' some of my American friends!" he says.
After spending a few years in Virginia, Akhtar moved to Philadelphia where he presently lives and practises.
"Thirty years of my stay here have led to the forming of deep emotional and professional ties. However, it was not till the mid-1980s that I began to develop faith in my work.
"Still later, I found what I would call my professional and academic voice. Through my work and my books, it was clear I was becoming more integrated both internally and externally."
Family life
Akhtar married before he moved to the US. But "our marriage faltered due to our diverse upbringing, and we divorced. The best thing (that resulted of the marriage) is our children Kabir and Nishat," he says, his face revealing a discomfiture to talk further on the subject.
Kabir is a successful film director and editor in Los Angeles and Nishat an artist and graphic designer who is currently employed in the Philadelphia Museum of Arts.
Years after his divorce, Akhtar met Monisha Nayar, whom he calls "the love of my life".
"I have never before," he says, "known this mix of contentment and excitement" and he credits it entirely to the presence of Monisha in his life.
It is the second marriage for both. Like Akhtar, Monisha has two children, both daughters, from her previous marriage.
"The arrival of Yamini and Kavita in my life has been a remarkable event."
Yamini is a fine arts photographer, based in New York and Kavita an aspiring writer. They get along well with Kabir and Nishat. "A fact that delights us both," says Akhtar.
I
I am constantly tempted by opportunities to collaborate with like-minded people. When someone reveals even a sliver of a thought, I am able to show him how he can carry the idea further.
I am proud to say I have helped a number of people get their first book published. Another thing that tempts me is art. Everytime Monisha and I visit India, we never leave without buying at least one significant piece of art.
I never go wrong when I listen to my wife. She is a more sensible person!
I pay particular attention to the way people use words. A catchy phrase makes my day.
I am a man of contrasts. I am a hundred per cent Indian and, believe it or not, a hundred per cent American as well. I am a physician and a poet. I can be the life of a party, but I also like quiet evenings at home with my wife. I travel widely but am a homebody!
I have a weakness of over-promising. I readily agree to do things and as a result, sometimes get overburdened.
At times, I have failed to fulfil my promises and at those times I feel remorse. But overall, my record has been pretty good!
I apologise readily when I commit a mistake. (When it comes to this trait) I make no distinctions between friends and strangers, or adults and children.
I feel protective towards my wife and our children. Although our children are no longer young, I still prefer to think of them as kids. Elders in my family are rather amused by this. I guess this quirk has a heart of tenderness!
I am still ignorant about a large number of things. For starters, I have no idea how electronic gadgets work. It is embarrassing to admit this but for a long time, I was a bit phobic about computers.
Now, I have overcome that fear and find the PC a great ally. Yet, if something does not work in it, I run to my wife or call my son for help.
I judge a person by the way they treat children, animals and people who are less privileged than them. People's humane behaviour towards those who can give them pretty much nothing in return shows their capacity for being non-exploitative and good character.
ME
Me and my poetry
I have been writing poetry for a long time, having published my first collection of Urdu poems in 1976. A few years after I came to the US, I began writing poetry in English too.
(They are not translations, but original.)
People ask me why I write in two languages. I do not know. It just happens that a feeling, a thought or an experience takes shape in my mind in a particular language and then it has to be expressed in the same.
I have published six volumes of poetry, three in English and three in Urdu. You could say it reveals my divided loyalties or my versatility!
Me and my opinion on Hindi film lyrics
It is interesting to note how people in the West are puzzled by all the singing and dancing in Hindi movies while Indians are nonplussed if a movie does not have songs in it. This is because singing is not natural to the Western idiom of life, while it is integral to the Indian way of life.
I like Hindi film songs and am biased towards the '70s output by great song writers like Sahir Ludhianvi, Shakeel Badayuni, Majrooh Sultanpuri, Kaifi Azmi, and my father, Jan Nissar Akhtar. In recent times, my brother, Javed Akhtar, and his contemporary, Nida Fazli, have impressed me a lot.
Me and my temper
I rarely get angry. I have to be tortured in order to lose my temper! My secretary, Melissa, will vouch for that. She has seen me lose my temper only twice in the 10 years that she has worked for me.
Me and my profession
I love my profession with a deep passion. My students find it surprising that even after 40 years in the field, I am still enamoured by it. My brother and my son are similarly fortunate. In fact, they both say how lucky we are
to be able to do what we like and get paid for it!
Me and my larger goals in life
On the professional front, it is to leave a body of written work that will guide and inspire future generations, specially people who will be working with emotionally troubled individuals. On the personal front, it is to see our children prosper and be happy.
Me and the complex medical cases
In all these years of practising psychotherapy and psychoanalysis, I have come across all kinds of cases.
One hears as much about affection and integrity as about cruelty towards children, self-destructiveness, infidelity and the soul-deep pain of those who have lost loved ones.
It teaches me about the depth and breadth of the human experience, leaving me in awe of the nature of life, humility in the face of hardship and gratitude for having been given an opportunity to help.
Me and my pet advice to my patients:
'Reveal your inner self to yourself.' I encourage my patients to reveal themselves to me, but more importantly, to their own selves.
It takes time to understand what underlies human sorrow. Too often, we are in a rush to fix a problem. We do not spend enough time with a person to listen to his story.
Me and my rebellion
The psychoanalyst in me rebels when I see psychiatrists reach out instinctively for their prescription pads while barely listening to their patient's account of his or her life.
The current so-called biological revolution in psychiatry leaves me utterly cold. Not that I think medications for psychiatric disorders are not helpful. They are. But they impact on the symptoms alone; they do not change the underlying pathology.
MYSELF
Is fear and a feeling of insecurity merely psychological?
Not necessarily. For instance, if you are afraid of a rabid dog or of an inebriated man with a knife, your fear is realistic, not based on psychological issues.
On the other hand, if you are afraid of a tiny spider, your fear is largely based on your internal impressions, which are a result of childhood experiences.
In what way is the life of a psychoanalyst different from the others?
There are positive as well as negative differences. The negative is that being a psychoanalyst makes you aware of the mental goings-on in others and in your own mind.
This insight can be burdensome. At times, you begin to see more than you can bear. You lose some of your innocence. Having such knowledge separates you from your non-psychoanalytic peers.
The positive is that a psychoanalyst makes you respect the complexity of the human mind and of the fact that all human beings struggle with internal conflicts. This realisation makes a person cultivate more patience and kindness for others.
