The pandemic has enabled a time for reflection and re-evaluation for many couples and for closer scrutiny of their relationship with their partner. This has affected couples in different ways – some positive, some negative, says Tanya Dharamshi, Clinical Director and Counselling Psychologist at Priory Wellbeing Centre, Dubai. Here she shares some ways parents who have found their marriage struggling during the pandemic can get it back on track…
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Do not struggle in silence or let resentment fester. With the heightened response to staying safe, being vulnerable does not come easy. Listening to each other, sharing worries and concerns and validating how each other is feeling is key.
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Take a step back and appreciate everything you have achieved in life – from creating a lovely home, raising successful and happy children, being happily married. Compile a list and focus on everything you do have, rather than what you don’t.
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Develop a culture of appreciation within you and your partner – regularly tell your partner what you appreciate about them, it can be as simple as “thank you for making me a cup of tea, that was very thoughtful”.
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Hug each other. The close physical contact of a hug does wonders.
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Schedule a regular ‘date night’ together. Whether it’s going out for a walk, going to a restaurant or taking it in turns to cook for each other. Every relationship needs work and commitment. Use this time to ask about each other’s day, work, health etc. Take time to ‘look out’ for each other and show them that you care.
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Have interests outside of your relationship and make time for the small things - whether it’s meeting friends for coffee, engaging in sport, reading, or even a lie-in. Small pleasures on a regular basis can help to break up the monotony of day-to-day life and help ‘put the breaks on’ our fast-paced lives and make us more appreciative of each other.
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Ensure structure and boundaries. Going to sleep and waking up at the same time every day, even if your sleep pattern was disrupted, is key as sleep and mental health are intrinsically linked. Without enough sleep conditions such as stress, anxiety and depression can thrive. Set clear boundaries between work and time for your relationship when working from home. When this gets muddled, it can be a key contributor to tension within a relationship.
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Find your form of relaxation e.g. soothing music, reading or mindful meditation and allow yourself time every day to find a quiet corner in the house to enjoy by yourself, uninterrupted. Many mindfulness and meditation apps offer different types of meditation for different concerns, or simply basic meditation.
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Set yourself goals and get out of your comfort zone. Whether it’s leaning a new language or saving up for that holiday you’ve always dreamed of (even if you can’t actually go immediately due to the pandemic). Make plans and ensure you always have something to look forward to as a couple.
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