‘That’s great!!!!!!! Thank you so much!!’ (Cue several smiley emoticons)
This works for an Instagram vacation post, however, it raised eyebrows in a professional email. Dubai-based Promona Singh (name changed on request), a marketing manager with over 20 years of experience, was rather nonplussed and amused when she received this email with several exclamation marks and smiley emoticons from a rather new colleague. “That would be first advice for those who want to follow rules of etiquette: Be professional. You’re discussing work, not posting on social media,” she says.
Singh says that she must keep gently reminding people to be professional, even at work events. “Just because you aren’t in office, you need to remember that you’re still working,” she says, recalling how one of her colleagues once got so excited at a plate of desserts that she helped herself to one too many, while senior CEOs and managers stared on at an event. “It was quite the sight, she was holding three cupcakes and her phone, trying to have a very serious conversation---all while trying not to drop cupcakes, and munching them too,” says Singh.
These scenarios highlight the dos and don’ts of professional etiquette that often need reiteration. Mansha Khan, a Dubai-based business psychologist and workplace mentor, emphasizes how important it is to present and conduct yourself professionally. “Whether you’re interacting with co-workers or supervisors, etiquette matters. It can directly influence your career trajectory,” she notes. “Just because your boss is friendly doesn’t give you the freedom to be rude or miss deadlines, thinking there won’t be consequences.”
So, here are a couple of Dos and Don’t’s on professional etiquette.
The Don’t’s.
Don’t discuss sensitive topics at the workplace
No doubt, you have close work friends and there’s something happening back home that you must absolutely need to share. We hear you. However, as Khan explains, when you’re in the office, especially an open one, you need to monitor carefully what you talk about to your co-workers. “Discussing family troubles or gossip, even with a close friend, can come across as unprofessional to others who are focused on their work. Maintaining professionalism in your conversations, no matter how close you are, helps uphold a respectful work environment.”
Don’t make assumptions about how things work
If you’ve been with your company for a while, it’s easy to think you’ve got the workplace figured out. However, let’s be real---things change, especially over the last few years. “Processes shift, cultures evolve, and what worked before might not work now,” says Khan. So, take the initiative and ask your managers and colleagues for a little guidance to stay in the loop. That’s the key to thrive in any workplace. If you’re unsure about something, ask. It’s better to clarify than to guess.
Don’t forget that at work events, you’re still at work
Of course, the food looks delicious. There’s a relaxed, friendly and comfortable vibe. There’s even some music. However, as Manasi Dev, a British-Indian psychologist in Dubai, explains, you represent your company at the event. “You have to uphold the company’s image at such events. So, don’t be swayed by food, music and fun conversations: Remember to keep your demeanor professional and calm, otherwise, it reflects badly on your company,” she says.
Don’t overstep your boundaries
It is natural to be closer to some colleagues than others; we’re human after all. However, Khan advises avoiding sharing excessively personal details with them, unintentionally making them the default confidant for deeply private matters. Khan suggests keeping the personal disclosures light at work, saving the intimate conversations for friends or family outside work. “This boundary maintains professionalism while allowing you to still have lighthearted, friendly interactions that don’t veer into oversharing.” This oversharing might usually lead into the ‘work spouse’ territory, where people foster close relationships with just one person, creating a certain exclusivity that isolates others.
Moreover, in this regard, don’t try to invade their personal space too, explain the psychologists. Don’t try to spread your stuff on to their desk, stand too closely to them and allow them space to breathe. And don’t try to get into their personal lives, especially if they didn’t want to share. Dubai-based Hilda Maine, a sales manager remembers a spat that she had with her mother in the office corridors on the phone, and her co-worker kept trying to ask her about it. “I had that conversation in a private hallway, and she came, and asked if I was alright. I told her not to worry, all was well, a small fight with my mother. But she was curious about what exactly we fought about, that she kept bringing it up in different ways over the next week, till I finally snapped and had to tell her to back,” says Maine.
In other words, unless your co-worker is ready to open up, it’s best not to hover around them like a persistent cloud, hoping for a downpour of personal details. Give them space—if they want to share, they'll do so when they're comfortable.
Don’t get emotional after receiving feedback
This is a tricky one. Most of us do get rather rattled, when we get feedback or criticism. And some of us, don’t take it so well. However, for the most part, as Khan advises: Don’t take it so personally and think that your boss is trying to humiliate you or demean you because of a personal vendetta or believe that there is something inherently wrong with you. “I’ve seen people cry and have meltdowns because their boss would have pointed out errors, and that just generates so much discomfort and tension in the workplace. Learn to control your emotions,” she says. “Process your feelings and try to separate the sting from the criticism.”
Keep your emotions in check, adds Astrid Kirkland, Creative Partner, KNOW Creative. "Managing emotions during challenging conversations, involves emotional intelligence and focusing on the shared objectives." Understand your audience, and seek compromises, focusing on the common goals. Empowering people and fostering respect, leads to more fruitful interactions and better collaboration, she says.
Don’t arrive late to work
Abu Dhabi-based Yana Hashem, a media professional, was a perpetual latecomer. “I was terrible at planning my mornings, and so I was always late to work, and missing a very important morning meeting. They reprimanded me initially, and then stopped. I thought they didn’t mind anymore, but the truth is, they just saw me as shoddy and unreliable, and when I realised that I knew that I had to change. I was losing tasks, assignments, as they didn’t trust me anymore,” she says.
So, as Khan summarises: Don’t be late continuously to work. It just gives the impression of a person who can’t manage their time well.
And, here are a couple of do’s too
Do, expand your network
It’s advisable to not become emotionally dependent on just one person, or a group as that can generate a clique mentality, explain the experts. Start by offering support on shared projects, being reliable with tasks, and showing genuine interest in your colleague's contributions. This gradual approach establishes a solid base of trust that doesn’t rely on oversharing or leaning too heavily on one person for emotional support.
Do, cultivate group connections
Sometimes, it might be more advisable to form a strong network of colleagues, instead of focusing your energy on a one-on-one relationship, and avoiding the ‘work spouse’ label, adds Dev. Moreover, the exclusivity of a ‘work spouse’ relationship can create division within a team. “Not everyone forms or desires a singularly close bond with one colleague, and this term might create a sense of division or clique-like dynamics within a group setting. By building connections with a variety of team members, you’re less likely to rely heavily on a single person for support, creating a healthier, more balanced social dynamic in the workplace. This approach also promotes a more inclusive atmosphere and reduces the potential for perceptions of favouritism.
Expressing feelings in a professional setting is important, but it should be done thoughtfully, to avoid sounding accusatory. Choose the right time for these discussions, ensuring they say constructive and focused on the issue at hand...
Do dress appropriately
Read the room, explains Dev. Judge the vibe of your workplace and see what is allowed for work wear. Don’t turn up dressed for a night out with all the glitz and glam, when everyone else is in formal suits.
Do communicate clearly
Dinah Reem, a Dubai-based marketing manager has this advice to give: Communicate clearly, especially through emails. And, one email would be great. Don’t send several emails after the first, explaining what you meant; it just clutters up an inbox and clouds a mood, too. Be clear in your conversations, don’t try to be overtly casual and friendly when discussing work, or use inappropriate slang and think that works for your colleagues. If you're offended by a situation, don't turn accusatory, advises Astrid Kirkland, Creative Partner, KNOW Creative. "Expressing feelings in a professional setting is important, but it should be done thoughtfully to avoid sounding accusatory. Choose the right time for these discussions, ensuring they say constructive and focused on the issue at hand," she says.
